December 2010
31 posts
closing arguments
this is my exit interview for 2010. a quiet year. one of recovery, but not left unblemished by its predecessor. time that dragged on at a rapid pace. some months in which i learned the following:
1. if you’re spilled out over everything, make yourself smaller. fold up & be invisible for a while. sometimes you have to be tiny. you can be tiny & still be whole.
2....
1.2.2010
“we are the young- our lives are a myst’ry. we are the old- who yearn for your face. we have been sung throughout all of hist-ry, called to be light to the whole human race.
gather us in- the rich & the haughty. gather us in- the proud & the strong; give us a heart so meek & so lowly, give us the courage to enter the song.
gather us in- the lost & forsaken. gather...
1 tag
1 tag
the one with all the self-hate sex
masturbating myself on the edges of things, it feels like the first time every time, teeth splintering, mute, stiff blue jeans, house on glenbrook, the space between my thumb and forefinger
saying your names
chemical names, bird names, names of fire and flight and snow, baby names, paint names, delicate names like bones in the body, rumplestiltskin names that are always changing, names that no one’s ever able to figure out. names of spells and names of hexes, names cursed quietly under the breath, or called out loudly to fill the yard, calling you inside again, calling you home. nicknames and...
tiny furniture
“but i don’t think we need to talk about all of our issues, you know? can’t we just start again as new friends who were old friends?”
“yeah- like new friends who share a lot of old memories.”
helicopter - deerhunter
“all the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water. and that’s...”
12 days [midwest version]
12 consecutive screenings of ‘a christmas story’ on tbs
11 mass text messages, re: holiday
10 star rating from pitchfork. oh wait, i’m not kanye.
9 shits given about good cheer / holly jollyness *
8 wikileaks, re: the believability of santa
7 play count of ‘all i want for christmas’ by mariah carey **
6 pack of pbrs ***
5 winks on okcupid.com ****
4...
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the one that was like a tv episode
bill murray dressed like hunter s. thompson, investigative work, searching for the helipad, mom as an excuse, bright green grass, wrought iron fences, roads cut into hillsides, college campus on the east coast, scheming, little sliding glass doors, backpack, brown & orange hat, bar like a grocery store, free pbr lincoln brew, lindy & laura, never feeling safe
9 things to do drunk besides drive →
“does anybody else get rap video syndrome when day drinking?”
1 tag
how i feel about myself / how the new york times...
“…a succulent, borderline rancid peach.”
“the more so, i say, because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. nothing exists in itself. if you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so for a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable anymore.”
herman melville, via ‘moby...
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regardless,
i believe in everyone.
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how i feel about myself / how the new yorker feels...
“…as a whole feels simultaneously contrived and improvisatory, schematic and haphazard.”
baby - warpaint
“how i love you.”
“it’s very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present.”
– little edie, via ‘grey gardens’
lemons --> fruit punch
“when life hands you lemons, aquarius, you are known for making lemonade. but what happens when life hands you cherries, and oranges, and sweet juicy grapes? that’s when you can make a magical elixir that will fuel your imagination and inspire your dreams. right now you are surrounded by amazingly good energy. the powers that be are hovering over you and giving you extra attention...
Watch
kurt vonnegut's rules
1] use the time of a total stranger in such a way that they will not feel the time was wasted.
2] give the reader at least one character they can root for.
3] every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4] every sentence must do one of two things - reveal character or advance the plot.
5] start as close to the end as possible.
6] be a sadist. no matter how...
Watch
black friday
stale touch
after
goddamn stale touch.
long glances that may as well stretch forever
for how vacant your stare is.
whores have feigned real feeling better than you,
no, not love. really.
but it all makes sense-
your pallid smile
your fingertips streaking across my skin
your body pressing into mine.
you
you make me want to drink myself to death,
to be poured out over the rocks and
...
notes on an interior
i am made of string-
simultaneously
loose and tangled.
guts are knots
and every time i feel a pull in my chest,
my stomach unravels.
a looped cord of obsession
or desperation-
heavy rope,
it hangs like a noose.
tie passing feelings into bows-
a reminder of what they were
and where.
i am covered in bows.
i am made of string.
cmyk - james blake
“things happen, one after another, world without end. just because you’re self-aware doesn’t mean you can change what’s happening. eventually someone is going to break your heart. eventually something you love is going to be taken away. and then you will fall to the floor crying. and then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking “i am...